LENOIR—Allie Rich was seven years old when her “very beautiful, funny, happy all the time” mother died, so you might imagine how alone in the world she felt. Fortunately for Allie, she found a safe place to express her feelings and feel better:  Caldwell Hospice and Palliative Care’s Good Mourning Children’s Grief Camp. Allie describes the experience of releasing her sadness and fear as being “like emptying out a glass of water. When you pour out the dirty, the clean comes in.”

Allie’s eyes light up, as she talks about her three Grief Camp experiences. She says it is “different each time. Every time I experienced feelings even more, instead of holding it all in.”

Adults might be surprised to hear a 13-year-old speak with such maturity about the grief experience, especially the grief of losing her mother. Allie is, first of all, a very mature, smart, funny, and creative teenager who wants to be a psychiatrist or a comedian when she grows up. Allie also gives credit to Grief Camp, saying, “Ever since Grief Camp, my life has changed. I’m a whole new me.”

Hospice Counselor Amy Prestwood oversees the planning for Hospice’s annual day camp for children, between the ages of six and 12, who have experienced the loss of a special person. “Research shows that memorializing and expressing feelings are two of the necessities which help children bounce back from the death of a loved one,” Amy says. “Camp reminds all of us that life does continue in one form or another and that our loved ones will always be wherever we are.”

Each year, the Grief Camp planning committee develops activities to help children work through grief. Naturally, their lives cannot be mended in one day, but through arts and crafts (this year, the children will make animal masks and go on a scavenger hunt), storytelling, and playing with other children, they can find words and ways to help them heal. Allie named two projects that were especially helpful to her. First are the “memory stones” which campers decorate and take home to keep in the house or in the yard. Allie has kept all three of hers.

The scrapbooks, photo albums, and grief journals Allie made at camp are stored away, as well. Not surprisingly, this teen uses music, through writing songs and playing the guitar “a little bit,” to express her emotions. At Grief Camp, she says, “People are there to help you know that you have potential.”       

Asked how she would encourage a friend who might be interested in attending Grief Camp, Allie says, “Other people are there who have the same feelings. You’re not the only one, and you need to come try it out.”  She continues, “I want to help other people conquer their fears of having that one thing hold them back.” 

It’s been six years since her mother died, but Allie knows that, “even though I know she’s gone, she’s still in my heart.” The Grief Camp experiences and the love of her grandmother have helped her explore and grow through her grief. 

Is there a special thing her mother used to tell her? Oh, yes:  “I love you more than the wind blows, more than the river flows, and more than the sun shines.” 

The theme for this year’s Grief Camp is “Surviving the Jungle of Grief.” It is set for April 25, from 9:30 a.m. to 3 p.m., at United Presbyterian Church on Pennell Street in Lenoir. Lunch will be provided, and the day camp will be sponsored by Greer-McElveen Funeral Home & Crematory and Mackie-High Funeral Home. Parents or guardians need to pre-register children, between the ages of six and 12, by calling Ashewood Grief and Counseling Services of Caldwell Hospice and Palliative Care at 754.0101. When you call, tell the Hospice folks that Allie sent you!

Allie Rich displays the tote bag she decorated at Caldwell Hospice and Palliative Care’s 2008 Good Mourning Children’s Grief Camp.